The Plunger

I am trying to do my living will. A living will is an advance directive document that specifies what your named decision maker(s) should do with regards to your medical care should you be unable to make those decisions for yourself. A living will includes things like the types of procedures your are willing/not willing to have, whether or not your organs can be donated if you should die, and how your body should be handled after death. Living wills can even specify how your finances should be managed when you're gone. Basically, a living will is like a plunger - you don't need one often but when you do, you really do.

I thought about doing my living will a long time ago, actually, when the husband of a good friend had a terrible accident that put him in a coma and left him in the hospital for several days. Luckily, he's fine but it prompted Jeff and I to start discussing what we would want if we were unable to make medical decisions for ourselves. I'll tell you that it was really tough to think about the 'what ifs'. In fact, we never got to it, thinking that we were way to young to worry about such things and letting other, more important matters take over.

When I started having medical troubles in February, I looked into doing a living will again. But, at that point, the reality was too close and I couldn't face doing it. Doing a living will while going through medical procedure after medical procedure was like admitting I was going to die and that it could be sooner rather than later. I was so relieved when we thought my problems had been a fluke and, again, I gladly let it slip from my mind.

Now that I'm scheduled to undergo brain surgery in about two weeks, I'm more scared than ever to put together my living will. Although the possibility of dying, going into coma or being seriously disabled as the result of a brain biopsy is relatively small, it's still a risk I would rather not have to take. I think about, 'What happens if I don't wake up? What if I am seriously disabled? Do I want to have my life artificially extended or do I want to let myself go? What will my mom and Jeff do if I die?'

In the past year, I've contemplated my death more times than any 26-year old thinks she would have to. So, deciding who I want to look after my affairs and what organs I would like to be donated is more than just a hypothetical, it's a real possibility. I dearly wish I had done my living will before all of this had happened.

I want to encourage everyone to do their living will NOW! It's likely that your doctor's office or local hospital has an easy-to-fill out form that covers the basic elements of a living will and is legally binding in many states. You can also go to http://www.hcdecisions.org/ to download a free living will document. It really doesn't take that long and yet so few people actually do it. It's scary and it's easier to just put it off rather than talk about these issues with yourself and with your family. But, if it's that difficult now, think how difficult it will be later when it really matters.